


The Un-Cool Kind of Zombie Apocalypse

by Kris



Category: Eureka
Genre: Community: zombie_fest, M/M, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-09-04
Updated: 2009-09-04
Packaged: 2017-10-12 10:14:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/123810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kris/pseuds/Kris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"For the last time," Nathan bites out. "He is not a Zombie." Restrained on the bed Fargo moans 'braaaaaaaaaiiiiiinssss' and reaches for Nathan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Un-Cool Kind of Zombie Apocalypse

**Author's Note:**

> Octo-Chicken courtesy of the show "Better off Ted"

"So you're saying it's not really, a catching type thing, right?" Jack asks. The infirmary is quiet except for the occasional moan and attempted shuffle and the whir and click of the various machines. Nathan stares at him like he's stupid, which, come to think of it, is Nathan's default expression where Jack is involved. 

"No, Carter, it's not going to spread."

"Not even if he bites someone?" Jack asks. The infirmary is glowing its typical green 'we don't know what you have' soothing light which, according to Allison, kills almost everything.

"Jack," Allison cautions.

"For the last time," Nathan bites out. "He is not a Zombie."

Restrained on the bed Fargo moans 'braaaaaaaaaiiiiiinssss' and reaches for Nathan.

***

"I thought you said it wasn't going to spread!" Jack snaps. Nathan glares at him. Three more scientists have been infected.

"We had trouble locating the lab everything originated from." Allison says.

"And why was Fargo even in that lab?" Jack demands. "I thought he was on a three week lab suspension from that thing with sonic corn?"

"We don't know," Allison admits. "He may have been looking for the Octo-chicken,"

"The what?" Jack asks.

"The Octo-Chicken," Nathan says impatiently. "It was one of Taggart's last hypothetical projects, he never created it, but occasionally the rumours pop back up and we find a scientist wandering around Section 5 looking for it." 

"But," Allison interrupts. "We...haven't really been sticking to the suspension."

"What?" the incredulous expression on Jack's face really says it all.

"Oh come on, Carter," Nathan says. "It's more of a guideline really. The DOD says 'bad scientist, no lab time', GD says 'but we need to finish project X and the DOD says 'okay fine, but bad scientist, remember we can take away your lab time'".

Jack narrows his eyes at the same time as Allison's hand comes up to touch Nathan's forehead.

"I think he's infected," Allison says.

"So it is spreading," Jack mutters.

***

It's bad enough being the only 'average' guy in Eureka, but it's not so fun having it pointed out to you when scientists, or Jo, routinely pop into the infirmary where Jack is sitting, just to hear the whole room start moaning for brains and then hop back out to hear them go quiet in disappointment when it's only Jack.

***

"Do you think, that there's some way I'm going to be able to fix you?" Jack asks Nathan quietly. The scientist is lying restrained on his bed staring at Jack with an expression that Jack figures sharks wear when they get hungry but they don't want to bother eating the small fish.

***

Henry comes in five days after GD's been quarantined, he's got three newly infected scientists on his hands, but the Zombies don't think his brains are any tastier a treat than Jack's.

"It's spreading through the town," Henry tells him. Jack nods and casually cuffs Henry to a bed. "Jack?" Henry asks.

"Sorry Henry," Jack says. "But you're one of the smartest people in this town, the Zombies don't lie."

***

He finds it in him to be relieved, even though he's the only person in town who's not infected, that at least they never rampaged, or actually ate anyone's brains. Jack deftly turns Zoe's shuffling gait towards her bedroom and closes the door behind her.

***

"Sheriff Carter," S.A.R.A.H. says. Jack looks up at the TV screen in the living room. Four weeks after everyone had become infected S.A.R.A.H. had decided to choose a face, so that Jack could have a person to talk to. "General Mansfield is on the phone."

Jack sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose. "Put him through S.A.R.A.H.," he orders. The A.I.'s face disappears and General Mansfield is glaring down at him. Jack doesn't take it personally, he's learned the General just glares at everybody, no matter what the situation.

"Sheriff, we've managed to hack into the mainframe through the back doors that S.A.R.A.H. provided us and we've shut down all but the non essentials at GD."

"And?" Jack asks. GD is a ghost town since Jack herded all of the Zombies out and locked the doors.

"And our satellites are picking up one energy source that isn't part of any of the labs and isn't shut down." Jack stares at him.

"You're saying you found it?" he asks. He's already standing up, strapping on his gun belt. Nathan paws at him when he moves but Jack just nudges him out of the way. They don't eat, they don't drink, they're like annoying little robot pets. Allison's last information before she succumbed had shown it the infection, whatever it was, put the entire body into a suspended state.

"Sheriff, why is Dr. Stark in your residence." Jack stares at the General for a moment then shrugs.

"He keeps following me home," he says and doesn't mention that non-Zombie Nathan Stark has a toothbrush in Jack's bathroom and clothes in Jack's closet.

"Ahh," the General says, Jack feels a strange gratification that he put that weirded out look on the General's face. "Well, I'm sure you see where this is going," he says. "Get down to Section 6, shut down the power source and see if things get better."

"Section 6?" Jack asks.

"Need to know," the General replies. "You've been cleared for access,"

Jack stares at him suspiciously for a moment. "There isn't an Octo-Chicken is there?" he asks. The General looks completely baffled but Jack is nearly positive that Nathan's moan is one of irritation.

***

The only thing that sucks more to Jack than a Zombie apocalypse where the Zombies don't even want to eat him, is that he can't drive to GD because none of the Zombies are afraid of him, or chase him anywhere, and they definitely don't get out of the road when they hear the car approach. So Jack is stuck walking from the bunker to GD and it takes almost all day.

GD is still as much a ghost town as it was, the hulking mass of Zombies wandering around it let him through without issue and he slips in without letting any of them in behind him. Even if Nathan looks like a kicked puppy staring at him and leaning forlornly on the unbreakable glass door.

"Sorry," Jack says. "I can't take you with me." Nathan lets out an aggravated sounding moan.

"Who are you talking to?" the General demands. Jack rolls his eyes and adjusts the communications unit on his ear.

"Dr. Stark," he says. "Like I said, he follows me everywhere. I think he's been trying to figure out if it's worth eating me or not."

"Well, at least this will be over soon," the General says. "The elevators are still functioning, when you get in there press sections 5 and 1 at the same time, a thumbprint scanner will come up, your security clearance has been increased so it will let you down there."

***

"Son of a bitch," Jack mutters and sucks his thumb into his mouth. "The least you could have done was warn me it burned the first time." The General doesn't respond but Jack can tell he's being laughed at.

Twenty feet down the corridor is the first lab on the right. The door plate proclaims the project name to be 'Octo-Chicken'. Jack glares at the door plate.

***

"Do you see the power source?" the General asks. Jack figures it's a pretty dumb question, there's a giant glowing column in the middle of Lab 14, conveniently with power cord running from it into one of the small nuclear powered things that Jack has seen powering Vincent's espresso machine. He unplugs it and the room goes dark, and then it goes dark again when he gets hit on the head.

***

"Jack?" someone says. Jack moans and turns away from the hand lightly slapping his cheek. "Come on Jack, time to wake up."

"Five more minutes," he mutters. He hears Nathan chuckle and gets another slap. He opens his eyes resentfully and then jerks up and grabs his head in pain. "What the hell?"

"The Octo-Chicken got you," Nathan says. "Apparently that was after you managed to restore all of our higher brain functions." Jack looks from Nathan to Zoe to Allison.

"The General filled us all in once we got back inside the building," Allison tells him. "The town is still under a quarantine until the DOD gets samples from everyone and confirms we're all healthy and whole."

"What the hell was that thing in Section 6?" Jack demands.

"It's an old project that was canned," Nathan says. "it was meant to send people into a safer suspended comatose state, but when Fargo hooked it up to an incompatible power source it started taking out the higher brain functions of everyone in it's reach."

"Which was thankfully only Eureka," Allison adds.

"I'm never going to live this down, am I?" Jack asks. Nathan ruffles his hand through Jack's hair.

"I kind of like you average," he replies.

"How's our lower brain function patient doing today?" Zoe coos at him.

"I can still ground you," Jack warns.  
/end  



End file.
